Previous English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and secured multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the disease.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and being reluctant to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says instead he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I handle situations in another way, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the condition, a series of scans indicated neural pathways in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder.
"I'm still competent to performing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can develop quickly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the condition claims a third of people within a twelve months and more than half within 730 days of identification, as eating and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard deterioration.
"It's not me that I feel sad for," added an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced licking the drops off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be so militantly directed on just embracing and appreciating each moment now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the primary determination I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations suggesting the prevalence of the condition is up to six times higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 available and producing damage to neural pathways, regular, strenuous training can activate the illness in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a practice confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a practice gear and commenced throwing himself into tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the throw-in in the decisive passage of play, setting a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other previous team-mates about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to rely on their support but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are available is all that matters," he said.
"Rugby is such a wonderful family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your love your vocation, it's one of the most significant honors.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the teams that I did it with was a pleasure. And I am aware they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
